Music that keeps me going

exams are coming...Yeah very soon enough I will be sitting for my 2nd-year sem 1 final exams. N as usual I b going back late coz my Last paper is on 23rd Nov. My language paper, as for my fellow course mate most will be leaving 18th Nov because that is the last day of my course paper exam. So I will only b able to go back on 24th Nov since there is NO flight after 11am to KL. Thou I wish I can go bck by 20th since my cousin is celebrated in a big occasion or the latest 23rd coz is my Jie2's Birthday but nonetheless I'm abide will God's plan in my life.
So in this hustle and bustle of exams and assignment and presentation, I thank God coz His music had kept me going as He is and always be. Guess I won't stop believing Him. It's bringing me an anthem of love where I gonna live for Him now. This perfect Love I can't explain. The best explanation will be "coz I'm caught in Your Grace" He is Everlasting. Just Love Music so much ^^ thank U Lord 4 Ur love.

Me

I lately had been listening 2 the song From The Inside Out By Hillsong United alot that I'm so into it! I juz Love it! Thank God for Such a wonderful song. I turned 21 2day. I don't know am I happy or am Sad......Y i also don't know. Never mind, I guess I juz don't have any mood. Don't even feel like 2 eat anything...

Neverthe less, thnk God for 2day ^^

Short Holiday

So I'm going bck to my hometown 2moro for a short holiday.
Hope I will have enough time to crush everything coz I have so much thing to do! extremely a lot of things I have to take cre off....
N am going with my roomates n housemate....friends....Looking forward 4 d journey thou It's goona be tiring for me n friends but guess it is worth it! 7am from UMS to LIFT, than 8am is our ferry, will reach KK at 12 smthg than taxi to airport. 2 hours n half flight, take bus to Busstation from airport than take another bus back home.....so will reach home by mid-night! I hope so...pray for a clear journey for us...thx...n those who celebating Eid, Happy Eid...i'm not celebrating but v r OneMalaysia....v enjoy the festive 2gether...Well that's all for now...

give up

I Don't Know what to say..
I give up

2/1

So, I guess I had returned to the blog world once again. Know I will b doing my second year at here in UMS, labuan campus. I'm aware that this sem is not going to be an easy sem; since I guess it so, I hope everything will go on well for me and pray that God wil help me and Hope to make new friends also to get score well for my exams. I wish I will b more closer to Him. So gambate tenes!Saigo no omoi:Ima Shikai Nai No.

I want to lose my self For You!

I want to be where You are Lord.
So bring me down to my knees,
teach me to worship you in spirit and truth.
Let Your ears be attentive to the voice of my supplication.
Father, Help me to bring You praise, I really want to bring You praise in my Life, From my soul. Pls take over of me lord,
Let my inner man and thoughts die that Your words will reign over and in me that through this, I will run for You.
Make me clean, wash me through. Take away everything that displease You.
Let me come before you every seconds of my life
that Your word may became my strength to run in this pace.
Overall I want to lose my self for You.

Love You, Lord Till the end.

Sorry

Was it my mistake?
I don't know what is going on with me! I am getting so pissed off! Urgh!!!
May b i should stop hoping and go on with my life as it is. I am aware sometimes I piss off alot but I'm not perfect!!! I'm me, juz another mere human on the face of earth! I don't understand u. I promise not to ask y so I won't ask. It's juzt that I don't know where I have made mistake. If I'm in wrong now, hit me let me know where i Have erred! i will never know unless U tell me. I'm not a saint u know.

So, I really tried being a good friend to u. I know the pain of being left pain of getting abounded, so I try my best to be there for u when u need me to. I don't want to justify my stand, No point of doing so, so I juz hope that i can tolerate u.
If I ever wanted to get mad at u, i would have many times b4. When u toss my laptop at ur bed and it fell (thou it was in the beg)i could get mad at u,coz that is not a dolar or two stuff, that laptop costs me more than 3k. but i knew it was not ur intention for it fell thou the thoughts of u tossing it makes me think tat u don't really care about it, still it's just an accident rite? N for countless other things u put me thru as i did put u thru and thnk u for being there for me, but tat is what friendship is, V give and take.

But am losing grip of myself. May b bcoz I start to treat u as 1 of my good friend, but it's very painful! I'm not sure if u or any1 is aware of this but yes, I'm hurt very hurt by ur n some others actions. i don't demand for much juz treat me as a friend, may b as someone who u know, don't use me than dump me aside! I can get hurt and this leaves a scar behind. May b u ask why I always talk about my friend in my hometown, how good they r and so on. But have u ever wondered y i always say so? It's so simple bcoz I can't find any like them! I'm being me but if that is u than I'm sorry, am sure this friendship won't last for very long! Since there is no honesty in us.

I love being friend with u and every1 else coz I'm happy to make new friends. For me friends r important. I treasure every one of my friend. Juz 1 thing I wonder r u the same? I'm not perfect thou, I make a lot mistake and if I have hurt u let me know. So i can change and apologies to u. So if I have hurt u, I'm SORRY. Hope we will be friends 4 ever. Thank u for sharing ur friendship with me and If I have miss understood or whatever la, pls do me a favour, LET ME KNOW. Take care.

PISS ME OFF!!!!...?

PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the HELL!!!! I am really fed-up with all this weird people. I am really tired. I want good friends O Lord!!! I'm so desperate to have good friends who I can rely on when I'm in need. A friend in need is a friend indeed!!! Hate to say much more but, if this is what you are going to show me, than i'M REALLY REALLY TIRED WITH YOU!!!!! How long more u plan to use me, PLS GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! I'm so tired. i really wish i can make good new friends but dissapointedly I don't have much friends here. 1 thing i can say is I thank God for everything. Thou is dissapointing, but it's okay, if this is meant to take place. Cause I never alone. I don't wish any who knows me understand what is happening!! I think the best for me is not to talk about this cause I'm so afraid my anger is bolting up!!!! I couldn't control it anymore. I have took anger management class b4. thou only once did I went and c the counselor, but I know d way ady but i guess it's x going to last very long anymore but I will survive!!!!

Hurt?

Had someone ever asked you,who had hurt u the most in ur life, wat would ur answer b? I don't know about u, but as 4 I couldn't find any other thn myself 2 b blamed. Y, myself? Is bcoz, somewhat I will b a part of it when the hurt occurs....Don't get what i mean here? It's ok, it's better if u don't coz if u do tat will b hurting 4 u...hey, but tat doesn't mean tat I am not hurt by anyone, I am very hurt by d world...by ppl surrounding me...It's very hurtful when u treat d person as best u could but they juz think u as a tisu..toilet tisu...they juz treat like, ok only...tat's not friendship..tat's duty...I don't want tat! I hate it! I used to have friends who care for me as they would for themself but they r gone, not there any more in my life, Spiritually I have my ABBA, but physcially I am alone in this world, I mean yes God is there for me, He goes b4 me, Walk beside me and protect me from the back but a friend tat I can share anything wit is really rare, it's totally hard to b find by me....I couldn't, i tried many times but the efforts r in vain... Today bro Nick preached about Prayer of Release. I really want to release all this crazy thought so here I write my thought off....better than keeping it bottled in urself...It kills....Killer silent, that word play very important part in my life...almost everything...i guess...I am not SILENT KILLER but I am KILLER SILENT...U should b able to understand wat it means...Thank God for the wonderful preaching 2day, I am glad to know n learn more bout God in ma life...I think blogging is good for me, bcoz I can share everything out v/out worries, tat someone might know my weakness or my pain or what ever i crap here...Bcoz not every1 knows who am I, esp my sisters...hope u all r not reading my blog, reading this...Coz allow me to b mature in making some decision..n let me go out n get hurt, so I will mature n learn more...U r protecting me too much...thou i love u all alot...the one U love The most HURT u the Most! It's very true in my life...so I hope u will not b offended wit all this....I need someone who I can talk to...but usually girls r Kepo,or big mouth, I can't trust any...but if i have good guy friend who listen to me, the friendship won't last long coz tat wat happen in form 4....U know rite...If u r reading tis....remember our selection? v choosed friendship over some stuff...but v couldn't face each other after tat...I'm glad tat u have a wonderful life rite now, U r a good friend, u never look at rich, looks or fame, U always say, u r who u r...hard to find any tat would say tat to me now. Don't get me wrong! I am someone who don't want any life commitment of wat i have aleady have...so I want to be free...not tied down by relationships...dis is wat i think now, perhaps in future i might change, it's all in the Hands of God...I need to lose back my weight to at least wat i was when i bought tat beautiful Punjabi Suit, when I was in form 4, I never wored it once also...I got too big tat i can't even fit thru it at all...some crazieness tat happened in form 4 tat got me as me now...but I guess all things r good, I learnt a lot...Don't underestimate me, I know more tat wat I look like...If i could I want to find someone older not too old but may b in early thirties, 4 me to talk to...A blogger would b best! Age is not limited in friendship even if u r 60 plus but supporting, i wouldn't mind hving u as ma best to talk to buddy...for I have always listen in my life, I really 1 someone to talk to...Someone willing to listen....R U TAT SOMEONE?

I want to be me

Wow it’s been a very long time since I last log in here. So wat am thinking rite now? I would say tat am not very sure. Got too many things running thru my head now, in fact at the moment? If I look back at my life, I think I would go crazy only if I am alone but the Good thing is I am not alone. Thnk God that I have His Love and His spirit with me I am able to survive thus this far. I am happy to be able to make new friends more. I love to make friends. No matter who u r, I don’t care bout ur past, ur present or anything, I mean I don’t care who u r, even if u r a hooker I don’t mind be friend vit ya….No limits in friendship juz anywhere I can be myself. I am who I am. I really feel tired being someone else, all this bcoz I am afraid of getting hurt. Trust me when I say it’s hurtful. Really pain, I tell u not easy to get rid of this hurt in ur life, believe me. It is easy to forgive but to forget it’s hard, I mean yes v can forget but the scar is still there, reminding u of the pain. Not easy at all. I love my friends. No matter who u r. If u r my friend, I am happy to know you. But very seldom am I able to find friend tat I can juz be me. Very hard. Extremely hard. People don’t get my intention well and b4 I manage to be friend they start to despise me. Hurtful but wat to do u r rejected by them who go after riches, looks and fame. I don’t care. I am me, I am happy to be me. I care for my friends well, but sometimes it’s hard for me to understand their needs. Like they are very fast to change their needs and sometimes they tend to hurt each other. To be a peace maker is not easy thou but am glad to be 1. But hard to keep up, I mean not to offend any party. Since I came here, I been crazily referred by my roommates. It’s good that I can help them but I am not an angel, I juz a mere human. Juz me, Tenes I prone to make mistakes and mostly I purposely erred but yes that’s me. I too hope tat I can have air to breath, but when I think about it, I guess I am satisfy as long I can be at any help for u. I am ur friend, no matter what mess u make, I will try my best to clear it for u for the sake of friendship. But I don’t want to be used as toilet tissue and thrown away at the end. I am a human, I need friends too, I need help too, am not perfect. Pray tat He will help me to have friends that willing to do wat I do to them. Juz be they to me. I want tat. Thou it is very hard to find but I believe one day I would. Hope the day would come soon….i am getting tired of waiting………

I wonder what had really happened to me? I am not studying at all. I am playing around too much. I should b studying rite now. I want to score pointer above 3.5 for this Year 1 Final Exam, but am not doing so. everyday i go on line update my facebook, watch on-line drama and read story. Lord Pls help me! God, pls lead me to the rite path. this isn't me. Am not like this. I have my Responsibility. I have to carry it well. I am an investment, i should be providing interest to my investors. i must do well. God help me!! Help me to do well in my studies. I want to be an excellent Banker. An excellent Financer in the finance world. help me Lord Help me, Pls stop me from being apart from my studies and from you, I can't wait to go back to my hometown. I want to go back, but b4 I do so I want my exams result to be good. Lord Help me!