Hurt?

Had someone ever asked you,who had hurt u the most in ur life, wat would ur answer b? I don't know about u, but as 4 I couldn't find any other thn myself 2 b blamed. Y, myself? Is bcoz, somewhat I will b a part of it when the hurt occurs....Don't get what i mean here? It's ok, it's better if u don't coz if u do tat will b hurting 4 u...hey, but tat doesn't mean tat I am not hurt by anyone, I am very hurt by d world...by ppl surrounding me...It's very hurtful when u treat d person as best u could but they juz think u as a tisu..toilet tisu...they juz treat like, ok only...tat's not friendship..tat's duty...I don't want tat! I hate it! I used to have friends who care for me as they would for themself but they r gone, not there any more in my life, Spiritually I have my ABBA, but physcially I am alone in this world, I mean yes God is there for me, He goes b4 me, Walk beside me and protect me from the back but a friend tat I can share anything wit is really rare, it's totally hard to b find by me....I couldn't, i tried many times but the efforts r in vain... Today bro Nick preached about Prayer of Release. I really want to release all this crazy thought so here I write my thought off....better than keeping it bottled in urself...It kills....Killer silent, that word play very important part in my life...almost everything...i guess...I am not SILENT KILLER but I am KILLER SILENT...U should b able to understand wat it means...Thank God for the wonderful preaching 2day, I am glad to know n learn more bout God in ma life...I think blogging is good for me, bcoz I can share everything out v/out worries, tat someone might know my weakness or my pain or what ever i crap here...Bcoz not every1 knows who am I, esp my sisters...hope u all r not reading my blog, reading this...Coz allow me to b mature in making some decision..n let me go out n get hurt, so I will mature n learn more...U r protecting me too much...thou i love u all alot...the one U love The most HURT u the Most! It's very true in my life...so I hope u will not b offended wit all this....I need someone who I can talk to...but usually girls r Kepo,or big mouth, I can't trust any...but if i have good guy friend who listen to me, the friendship won't last long coz tat wat happen in form 4....U know rite...If u r reading tis....remember our selection? v choosed friendship over some stuff...but v couldn't face each other after tat...I'm glad tat u have a wonderful life rite now, U r a good friend, u never look at rich, looks or fame, U always say, u r who u r...hard to find any tat would say tat to me now. Don't get me wrong! I am someone who don't want any life commitment of wat i have aleady have...so I want to be free...not tied down by relationships...dis is wat i think now, perhaps in future i might change, it's all in the Hands of God...I need to lose back my weight to at least wat i was when i bought tat beautiful Punjabi Suit, when I was in form 4, I never wored it once also...I got too big tat i can't even fit thru it at all...some crazieness tat happened in form 4 tat got me as me now...but I guess all things r good, I learnt a lot...Don't underestimate me, I know more tat wat I look like...If i could I want to find someone older not too old but may b in early thirties, 4 me to talk to...A blogger would b best! Age is not limited in friendship even if u r 60 plus but supporting, i wouldn't mind hving u as ma best to talk to buddy...for I have always listen in my life, I really 1 someone to talk to...Someone willing to listen....R U TAT SOMEONE?