Hurt?

Had someone ever asked you,who had hurt u the most in ur life, wat would ur answer b? I don't know about u, but as 4 I couldn't find any other thn myself 2 b blamed. Y, myself? Is bcoz, somewhat I will b a part of it when the hurt occurs....Don't get what i mean here? It's ok, it's better if u don't coz if u do tat will b hurting 4 u...hey, but tat doesn't mean tat I am not hurt by anyone, I am very hurt by d world...by ppl surrounding me...It's very hurtful when u treat d person as best u could but they juz think u as a tisu..toilet tisu...they juz treat like, ok only...tat's not friendship..tat's duty...I don't want tat! I hate it! I used to have friends who care for me as they would for themself but they r gone, not there any more in my life, Spiritually I have my ABBA, but physcially I am alone in this world, I mean yes God is there for me, He goes b4 me, Walk beside me and protect me from the back but a friend tat I can share anything wit is really rare, it's totally hard to b find by me....I couldn't, i tried many times but the efforts r in vain... Today bro Nick preached about Prayer of Release. I really want to release all this crazy thought so here I write my thought off....better than keeping it bottled in urself...It kills....Killer silent, that word play very important part in my life...almost everything...i guess...I am not SILENT KILLER but I am KILLER SILENT...U should b able to understand wat it means...Thank God for the wonderful preaching 2day, I am glad to know n learn more bout God in ma life...I think blogging is good for me, bcoz I can share everything out v/out worries, tat someone might know my weakness or my pain or what ever i crap here...Bcoz not every1 knows who am I, esp my sisters...hope u all r not reading my blog, reading this...Coz allow me to b mature in making some decision..n let me go out n get hurt, so I will mature n learn more...U r protecting me too much...thou i love u all alot...the one U love The most HURT u the Most! It's very true in my life...so I hope u will not b offended wit all this....I need someone who I can talk to...but usually girls r Kepo,or big mouth, I can't trust any...but if i have good guy friend who listen to me, the friendship won't last long coz tat wat happen in form 4....U know rite...If u r reading tis....remember our selection? v choosed friendship over some stuff...but v couldn't face each other after tat...I'm glad tat u have a wonderful life rite now, U r a good friend, u never look at rich, looks or fame, U always say, u r who u r...hard to find any tat would say tat to me now. Don't get me wrong! I am someone who don't want any life commitment of wat i have aleady have...so I want to be free...not tied down by relationships...dis is wat i think now, perhaps in future i might change, it's all in the Hands of God...I need to lose back my weight to at least wat i was when i bought tat beautiful Punjabi Suit, when I was in form 4, I never wored it once also...I got too big tat i can't even fit thru it at all...some crazieness tat happened in form 4 tat got me as me now...but I guess all things r good, I learnt a lot...Don't underestimate me, I know more tat wat I look like...If i could I want to find someone older not too old but may b in early thirties, 4 me to talk to...A blogger would b best! Age is not limited in friendship even if u r 60 plus but supporting, i wouldn't mind hving u as ma best to talk to buddy...for I have always listen in my life, I really 1 someone to talk to...Someone willing to listen....R U TAT SOMEONE?

I had Just realise what people are. How they seem like our good friend but end up being like a stranger when we really need them. Sometimes we think they are Damn good friend too bad or too Damn to be missed. But is that all? No definitely NO. They are not who they are or what they are. Most of them pretend to be our friend when they are actually are not. Ridiculous. They take what belongs to us in the name of HELP. They steal our moment in the name of friendship. I hate such character of human. I had too many of them as my friend. Even some one who i thought will give me support had left me in Despair. But God is the strength of my heart. My heart and portion for ever and ever.