PISS ME OFF!!!!...?

PISS ME OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What the HELL!!!! I am really fed-up with all this weird people. I am really tired. I want good friends O Lord!!! I'm so desperate to have good friends who I can rely on when I'm in need. A friend in need is a friend indeed!!! Hate to say much more but, if this is what you are going to show me, than i'M REALLY REALLY TIRED WITH YOU!!!!! How long more u plan to use me, PLS GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! I'm so tired. i really wish i can make good new friends but dissapointedly I don't have much friends here. 1 thing i can say is I thank God for everything. Thou is dissapointing, but it's okay, if this is meant to take place. Cause I never alone. I don't wish any who knows me understand what is happening!! I think the best for me is not to talk about this cause I'm so afraid my anger is bolting up!!!! I couldn't control it anymore. I have took anger management class b4. thou only once did I went and c the counselor, but I know d way ady but i guess it's x going to last very long anymore but I will survive!!!!

Hurt?

Had someone ever asked you,who had hurt u the most in ur life, wat would ur answer b? I don't know about u, but as 4 I couldn't find any other thn myself 2 b blamed. Y, myself? Is bcoz, somewhat I will b a part of it when the hurt occurs....Don't get what i mean here? It's ok, it's better if u don't coz if u do tat will b hurting 4 u...hey, but tat doesn't mean tat I am not hurt by anyone, I am very hurt by d world...by ppl surrounding me...It's very hurtful when u treat d person as best u could but they juz think u as a tisu..toilet tisu...they juz treat like, ok only...tat's not friendship..tat's duty...I don't want tat! I hate it! I used to have friends who care for me as they would for themself but they r gone, not there any more in my life, Spiritually I have my ABBA, but physcially I am alone in this world, I mean yes God is there for me, He goes b4 me, Walk beside me and protect me from the back but a friend tat I can share anything wit is really rare, it's totally hard to b find by me....I couldn't, i tried many times but the efforts r in vain... Today bro Nick preached about Prayer of Release. I really want to release all this crazy thought so here I write my thought off....better than keeping it bottled in urself...It kills....Killer silent, that word play very important part in my life...almost everything...i guess...I am not SILENT KILLER but I am KILLER SILENT...U should b able to understand wat it means...Thank God for the wonderful preaching 2day, I am glad to know n learn more bout God in ma life...I think blogging is good for me, bcoz I can share everything out v/out worries, tat someone might know my weakness or my pain or what ever i crap here...Bcoz not every1 knows who am I, esp my sisters...hope u all r not reading my blog, reading this...Coz allow me to b mature in making some decision..n let me go out n get hurt, so I will mature n learn more...U r protecting me too much...thou i love u all alot...the one U love The most HURT u the Most! It's very true in my life...so I hope u will not b offended wit all this....I need someone who I can talk to...but usually girls r Kepo,or big mouth, I can't trust any...but if i have good guy friend who listen to me, the friendship won't last long coz tat wat happen in form 4....U know rite...If u r reading tis....remember our selection? v choosed friendship over some stuff...but v couldn't face each other after tat...I'm glad tat u have a wonderful life rite now, U r a good friend, u never look at rich, looks or fame, U always say, u r who u r...hard to find any tat would say tat to me now. Don't get me wrong! I am someone who don't want any life commitment of wat i have aleady have...so I want to be free...not tied down by relationships...dis is wat i think now, perhaps in future i might change, it's all in the Hands of God...I need to lose back my weight to at least wat i was when i bought tat beautiful Punjabi Suit, when I was in form 4, I never wored it once also...I got too big tat i can't even fit thru it at all...some crazieness tat happened in form 4 tat got me as me now...but I guess all things r good, I learnt a lot...Don't underestimate me, I know more tat wat I look like...If i could I want to find someone older not too old but may b in early thirties, 4 me to talk to...A blogger would b best! Age is not limited in friendship even if u r 60 plus but supporting, i wouldn't mind hving u as ma best to talk to buddy...for I have always listen in my life, I really 1 someone to talk to...Someone willing to listen....R U TAT SOMEONE?

I want to be me

Wow it’s been a very long time since I last log in here. So wat am thinking rite now? I would say tat am not very sure. Got too many things running thru my head now, in fact at the moment? If I look back at my life, I think I would go crazy only if I am alone but the Good thing is I am not alone. Thnk God that I have His Love and His spirit with me I am able to survive thus this far. I am happy to be able to make new friends more. I love to make friends. No matter who u r, I don’t care bout ur past, ur present or anything, I mean I don’t care who u r, even if u r a hooker I don’t mind be friend vit ya….No limits in friendship juz anywhere I can be myself. I am who I am. I really feel tired being someone else, all this bcoz I am afraid of getting hurt. Trust me when I say it’s hurtful. Really pain, I tell u not easy to get rid of this hurt in ur life, believe me. It is easy to forgive but to forget it’s hard, I mean yes v can forget but the scar is still there, reminding u of the pain. Not easy at all. I love my friends. No matter who u r. If u r my friend, I am happy to know you. But very seldom am I able to find friend tat I can juz be me. Very hard. Extremely hard. People don’t get my intention well and b4 I manage to be friend they start to despise me. Hurtful but wat to do u r rejected by them who go after riches, looks and fame. I don’t care. I am me, I am happy to be me. I care for my friends well, but sometimes it’s hard for me to understand their needs. Like they are very fast to change their needs and sometimes they tend to hurt each other. To be a peace maker is not easy thou but am glad to be 1. But hard to keep up, I mean not to offend any party. Since I came here, I been crazily referred by my roommates. It’s good that I can help them but I am not an angel, I juz a mere human. Juz me, Tenes I prone to make mistakes and mostly I purposely erred but yes that’s me. I too hope tat I can have air to breath, but when I think about it, I guess I am satisfy as long I can be at any help for u. I am ur friend, no matter what mess u make, I will try my best to clear it for u for the sake of friendship. But I don’t want to be used as toilet tissue and thrown away at the end. I am a human, I need friends too, I need help too, am not perfect. Pray tat He will help me to have friends that willing to do wat I do to them. Juz be they to me. I want tat. Thou it is very hard to find but I believe one day I would. Hope the day would come soon….i am getting tired of waiting………

I wonder what had really happened to me? I am not studying at all. I am playing around too much. I should b studying rite now. I want to score pointer above 3.5 for this Year 1 Final Exam, but am not doing so. everyday i go on line update my facebook, watch on-line drama and read story. Lord Pls help me! God, pls lead me to the rite path. this isn't me. Am not like this. I have my Responsibility. I have to carry it well. I am an investment, i should be providing interest to my investors. i must do well. God help me!! Help me to do well in my studies. I want to be an excellent Banker. An excellent Financer in the finance world. help me Lord Help me, Pls stop me from being apart from my studies and from you, I can't wait to go back to my hometown. I want to go back, but b4 I do so I want my exams result to be good. Lord Help me!

Faraway

Yo,
I really wonder what shall i say or shall I write here.
Currently I'm studying at UMS-KAL. It's far away from my home.
I don't know why but I don't like the place at all. I really
wish that I can turn back the time, but than again it's so unlogic.
I don't know why God had grant me there to further my studies, I'm sure
there's a reason. But am Unsure of it. One thing have I decided, I'm going to trust in Him forever. Only He knows my thoughts and Desires. I Hope that Time will pass very very fast that soon enough it will be June 2012. Once I finished my studies, I will be Happy. Practical I'm not worried at all. As long I finished my studies, It's great enough. Definitely I'm coming back to JB, I can look for Job at S'pore. That will do. Nevertheless, Not my will but Yours to be done.
Juz that i miss everything back at my hometown. Thou it's juz a small town yet, it is modern enough for me, there are WiFi 24/7 around the area n it's surrounded with Shopping malls and 24/7 Mcd, Kfc, and Restaurants, even Clinic at here are 24/7 and there is Pantai specialist and many more facalities than overrun things at Labuan.
Hope I can Win the race.

I'm back and I'm crazier than ever
Honestly, I too hooked up with the craziness of life.
Don't know why but it seems like 2009 is an complicated year for me.
When i got back my HSC results, it wasn't good at all. In fact the worst result i scored all my life of studies, with that choices for Univercity applications became very very limited. But still God is Great, I was asked for interview and exams which I griefly confess i Missed each and everyone of it. Don't even know will I be able to make it to Univercity by this year.

I took my driving test and forget to wear the safety belt, and the second driving test time I was told that my stering control wasn't good. So i will Have to resit for the third time and this time I will have to **I** the officer.

Ha.........Really don't know what will become of me. Pray that everything will turn out fine Nevertheless Not my will But His will to be done on me.

It's been so long, since i post new post.
Ha...Life is crazy. Don't know what will become of me, Hope everything will be fine. Really hope so...